Mia's favourite things
I read Mia a bedtime story about Peppa Pig’s favourite things. At the end I asked here what her favourite things are and this is what she said… Flowers Princesses Things that are working (like computers and televisions) Pictures that don’t fall down A picture she drew that’s up on her wall of her, me and Andy Hello Kitty and the Easter Bunny
The Easter Bunny
Andy had bought Mia a Lindt chocolate gold bunny and put it right on top of our bookcase in the living room (not wanting to interfere with the carefully planned Easter egg hunt) and we both forgot about it. On the evening of Easter Sunday Mia is lying on the sofa before going to bed and suddenly spots the chocolate bunny...
Mia: Mummy! LOOK! *points at gold bunny*
Me: *looks up, remembers and quickly plans response*
Mia: Mummy! There's a gold bunny up there! What's that?
Me: *gasps* The Easter bunny must have brought it and put it up there for you! *shocked face*
Mia: *pauses for ages*
Me: (desperately hopes for belief in story)
Mia: *face lights up into a grin* WOW!
Me: (Relief) He must have done it while we were out and hidden it up there for you so you could see it
Mia: But it's not hidden
Me: But if he hid it you would never see it. He's very clever and hidden it somewhere only you would see it
Mia: I saw it and was thinking what it was and thought maybe daddy bought it for you... or we bought it for daddy...
Me: But we didn't even know it was there and it was for you!
Mia: *smiles* But how did he get it all the way up there?
Me: Bunnies can jump really high...?
Mia: I don't think so
Me: Maybe by magic...?
Mia: I think he had a really long ladder
Mia: A magic ladder that fits in a little bag. Someone else can get tall things in a bag... you know... in the film
Me: ... Mary Poppins!
Mia: Yeah, the Easter bunny has a bag like Mary Poppins.
Me; Possibly yeah
Mia: Where does the easter bunny live?
Me: ...Er... I think... in the woods, under the ground in a big warren where he makes all the Easter eggs.
Mia: Yeah that's where he made my egg. Can I eat it now?
Mia: What does he look like?
Me: Like a bunny
Mia: Yeah but what does he LOOK like?
Me: I think you should go to sleep and dream about him and then you can tell me what he looks like tomorrow.
Mia: And then can I eat it?
Who's the cleverest?
Mia and I were taking a break from sorting out my collapsed wardrobe and the massive mess of clothes in my room...
Mia: Mummy, do you know who is the cleverest in our family?
Mia: Its daddy
Me: Oh. Are you sure?
Mia: Yeah, daddy's the cleverest
Me: I see. Why is daddy the cleverest?
Mia: Because he's clever at putting things up again when they fall of the wall.... and he's clever at mending things if they're broken.... and he's clever at making me happy again if I'm sad...
Me: Ah, well they are all clever things.
Mia: You're clever too though.
Me: Well, thank you
Mia: But me and you are the cleverest at baking
Me: Anything else?
Mia: No, not really. Your wardrobe's not the cleverest in the family is it cos it collapsed!
I was kneading some bread dough when Mia came in the kitchen and decided she wanted to help. I gave her a bowl and some water and flour and she started mixing away and making a massive mess...
Mia: Have you finished kneading now?
Me: Yes, you can carry on playing though while this rises.
Mia: Can you stay in the kitchen with me?
Me: Yeah, I'll do the washing up while you play over there.
Mia: You'll be cleaning while I make a mess!
Mia: There'll be two virgins.
Mia: Over there'll be the clean virgin and over here will be the dirty virgin.
Mia: Yeah, the messy virgin makes me laugh. Look!!
More manners please
Mia: Mummy, at nursery yesterday we were having our tea and I had a drink of milk but I wanted some water but I couldn't remember the word 'water' and I said 'could I have some manners please?'
Mummy I love you. You’re my favourite person in the whole world and...– Mia Watkins, 30.01.13
Mia explains ‘context’ with her usual charm
Waste not want not
The three of us have just finished our Sunday roast and Andy is polishing off what Mia couldn't eat
Mia: Look mummy. Daddy ate all of his dinner and now he's eating mine too!
Daddy: Well I dont like to see food go to waste.
Daddy: Do you know there are some people in the world who don't have enough to eat
Me: Yeah and they're always hungry. That wouldn't be very nice would it?
Mia: *thinks for a moment*... Mummy... You know when I lick the bowl when we make chocolate cake?
Mia: That's because I don't like to see food go to waste.
Mia has two teddy bears who look similar called Chuck and John Lewis. Chuck is sat on the side in the kitchen when we get home from nursery...
Mia: (picks up the teddy) Hello John Lewis!
Me: That's Chuck, not John Lewis....
Mia: No, it's Chuck.
Me: They look very similar
Mia: No, they've changed names
Me: They've changed names?
Mia: Yes mummy so this is John Lewis now
Me: This could get confusing...
Mia: People can swap names actually too
Me: People don't swap names, that would be really confusing
Mia: Yes so soon we need to swap names and you will be Mia and I will be er..... Kerry
Me: So people would have to call you Kerry?
Mia: Yes and daddy has to call you Mia
Me: Not forever....?
Mia: NO!! *laughs at me* Just for a little... a little... just for a little... 2 days
Me: Do I have to go to nursery?
Mia: *thinks about it* yeah and you'll be like a new grown up! And you can play with all my friends. And if they get upset you have to rock them to sleep. But tell them if they want to go to sleep first.
Me: Cool. And what will you do?
Mia: I will have to go on the train and go to London and have meetings and do work on your computer.
Me: Do you think you can go on the train on your own?
Mia: No... I might get lost on the train cos it might be busy.... I think I won't do the train bit but I'll do EVERYTHINK else!
Mia: Yeah, just do the London and the meetings and the computer work. Yeah, I'll just do that. *walks off with Chuck/John Lewis*
Saturday morning, Mia has joined us in bed and we are watching Scooby Doo which has a viking ghost in it...
Mia: what's a viking?
Andy: a viking is someone from a place called Scandinavia which is made up of a few countries. And they used to travel in huge rowing boats and they used to wear hats with horns on like that
Mia: Like a mummy cow!
Me: Like a daddy cow, a bull
Mia: *thinks for a minute* Actually a viking is just a king that's a baddy, you didn't know that.
Dairy– Mia and I sit down to eat pepperoni pizza. Mia has eaten all the pepperoni off the top… Me: Are you going to eat the pizza bit as well? Mia: *pushes plate away* I can’t eat dairy Me: yes you can. Do you know what dairy is? Mia: yeah… Cheese, milk, yoghurt and butter Me: yes so you can eat all...
Mia is dressed in a dressing gown and pirate hat brandishing a sword and mobile phone...
Mia: look at me mummy, I'm captain Horatius! And you can be captain mamma killborn. But you'll need a dressing gown and a saving gun.
Me: wow, you look like a really scary pirate
Mia: I'm not a scary pirate I only kill naughty people
Me: ok, but how do you know if they've been naughty
Mia: I phone their mummy's and ask them
Me: I see, that's why you've got a phone
Mia: yeah. *calls someone* "Hello, has your person been naughty? They have? Ok, well I'll kill them then. You don't want me to kill them? Ok, I won't then."
Me: so you're not going to kill them
Mia: no ill punch them and get them died. But I'll need a different hat....
Queuing up to pay at the swimming pool...
Mia: Mummy you know when you get glory in your eyes?
Mia: *screws up face* You know people who get glory.... in your eyes and up your nose?
Me: Glory up your nose?
Mia: Yes *screws eyes shut* and it's all funny and stingy
Mia: Yeah, glory.
It's after bedtime stories and Mia is sat in bed chatting to me...
Mia: Mummy have you heard of Treefoo Tom?
Mia: You know... Treefoo Tom!
Mia: Do you know Spiderman?
Mia: Well Treefoo Tom is a superhero
Me: LIke Spiderman
Mia: Yeah. Well Treefoo Tom IS Spiderman. And Spiderman IS Treefoo Tom. Does that make sense?
Mia: You know in a book when someone is the same as someone else. Is that complicated?
Me: A bit but I see what you mean
Mia: Well Treefoo Tom is Spiderman like that
Me: Ah... so they are the same person
Mia: Yes and when you read a book and you pick your nose you've ruined your book did you know that?
Mia: Yeah especially if you poke your eye too.... *looks into distance and shakes head* Ruined....
Mia and I are sitting eating dinner and she starts a conversation...
Mia: Mummy. At nursery there are lots of toys but I don't play with them, I just wander around and look at them. But I do play in the role-play area and the creative area and the garden... And I build things... And I play with lego... And I smash things with my suitest
Me: Your what?
Mia: My codessa suitest
Me: What's that?
Mia: It's like a beak
Me: And it does what?
Mia: It makes holes in things. You're not listening mummy!
Mia: It makes little holes in things. Things that you want holes in.
Me: Are you allowed to do that?
Mia: Careful with your feet though everyone and it might get them dirty on the floor and it might get you dirty in your feet and you might get worms wiggling around in your feet and your toes
Mia: (looks really serious) WATER worms
Me: What have water worms got to do with it?
Mia: It shoots right out of the ceiling and it makes things break if you want them to break. And they make holes. And the worms start to wiggle out of the holes! (returns to eating her food) You should do better listening...
Worst hospital ever
We are playing doctors and I am the patient laying on Mia's bed (which is the hospital bed)...
Mia: I need to take your blood pressure
Mia: *takes blood pressure* Oh dear... you've got no blood pressure!
Mia: No, this is very bad so you'll need to stay in hospital for ten years
Me: Ten years?
Mia: Yes. But we will make you better, don't worry but you need to stay in hospital for ten years and you will need a walking stick when you leave
Me: Why's that?
Mia: Because you got no blood pressure, obussly!
I am reading Mia a 'Dora the Explorer' book at bedtime that contains some Spanish...
Mia: What does excelente mean?
Me: It means excellent
Mia: What does excellent mean?
Me: You know what excellent means!
Mia: Excellent means.... excellent
Me: Excellent means 'great', 'brilliant'...
Mia: Or fantastico
Me: Yes, in Spanish. Or fantastic in English
Mia: Is excelente called excelente because it's like excellent like.... because it's the same as.... is excelente the same as..... excellent sounds.... it's excelente but it's like excellent.... the same....
Mia: And fantastico is....
Me: *head in hands*
I head Mia burp...
Me: That was a big burp!
Mia: Pardon me! *smiles* And that was a medium burp actually.
Mia and I were talking about getting a sun tan after coming home from Spain...
Mia: Mummy, when the sun is shining it soaks into your skin, did you know that?
Me: Yes and it gives you a sun tan
Me: But you have to be careful because the sun can burn your skin if you don't wear sun cream
Mia: I know but if you just put a little but of sun cream on... or sun lotion... it's the same thing actually... and rub it in and if the sun gets in your skin it goes erm.... bumpy and clawry and you get sunburnt. And your legs hurt and you can't walk properly and you have to sit on the front seats on the bus
Mia: It's quite complicated actually mummy. When you're a bit bigger I'll explain it to you and then you'll understand
Mia is staying with her grandparents for a few days. Grandpa returns home from work and Mia rushes to meet him in the hallway...
Grandpa: Hi Mia! Have you and Grandma had fun today?
Mia: Yes, we've been shopping and Grandma bought me some new clothes and then we went to the Wezza-bra this afternoon
Grandpa: *looking very puzzled* ...the Wezza-bra?
Mia: Yes the Wezza-bra, we went in Grandma's car
Grandpa: What's a Wezza-bra?
Mia: You know, it's near Brixworth and Grandma parked on the road cos do you know they charge £2.50 for the car park?! *opens eyes wide and looks shocked*
Grandpa: *looks to Grandma for clarification* who just laughs
Grandma: Mia tell Grandpa what we did there
Mia: Grandma knew bread was bad for them, so we took lettuce and peas and bird seed. There were ducks and geese and swans and they came all around us, there were lots of them, about 60 or 19 or even 27! The swans were very big and greedy and came right up taller than me so Grandma had to lift me up quick. They ate all the food and there was lots and lots of poo!
Grandpa: ...Oh you mean The Reservoir!
Mia: That's what I said ....... the Wezza-bra *look exasperated*
We are sitting down and doing some drawing. Mia draws a big yellow thing
Me: What's that Mia?
Mia: It's a wokka disaster
Me: Whats a wokka disaster?
Mia: Its a rocket fire that gets really warm and smokey and sticky wood, OK?
Me: And what does it do?
Mia: And it goes "scheeeeooowwww" and that makes you die, OK?
Me: Oh dear
Mia: And you have a yellow flame with all the colours mixed up with it and you put some drinks and food in it. All sorts of bits. And all the bits in the world and fish and all sorts, OK?
Mia: And also a grape that you pick and put in it and glue and paint in it and (does a magic wand motion) POW, it gets more fire shotted!
Mia: That's all. That is a wokka disaster. Oh, and another thing - a cushion. You rip it up into little pieces and you blob those in and mix it up with some jelly and mix it all up and when you fire it there's loads of fire in the shot.
Mia: It's very dangerous mummy. It makes you die and you can never get up again.
Our friends Tim and Pigeon are over and we are all sat in the living room...
Me: What shall we have for dinner tonight?
Mia: Roast beast
Me: Roast beast?
Me: What's a beast?
Mia: It's like bacon
Me: Do you know what animal bacon comes from Mia?
Mia: A tiger (laughs all round)
Pigeon: So tigers make bacon?
Mia: Yeah, tigers eat grass and the farmer calls them to have milk to make the bacon
Pigeon: So how do they make the bacon?
Mia: The beast falls into a machine called a purple passan and you press a button and it goes up and down and it gets hit and when it comes out it tastes delicious
Pigeon: the machine is called a purple....?
Pigeon: right. And it makes the beast bacon
Mia: Yellow and orange and pink beast bacon. But the farmers have to CALL them to come for their milk
Pigeon: Do the tigers live in the jungle?
Pigeon: How do you get to the jungle?
Mia: You go right, then left, then right again
Tim: That sounds like Portslade
Mia: Stop lying Timothy!
There is a forthcoming holiday to Spain. This is our conversation over breakfast...
Mia: Mummy, where is Spain?
Me: It's over there *point South* over the sea and a long way away
Mia: How far?
Me: It's so far you need to get an aeroplane there
Mia: We'll have to buy an aeroplane won't we?
Me: No, we don't need our own aeroplane. We go to an airport and lots of people get on one aeroplane and fly to somewhere
Me: Do you know what the person who flies an aeroplane is called?
Me: A pilot
Mia: A pilot?
Me: Yes, and Tim is learning to be a pilot. (Mia's godfather). So maybe one day when we fly somewhere, Tim will be flying our plane!
Mia: That's very clever
Me: Yes, Tim is very clever
Mia: But we'll have to ask him if he will
Mia: What about a helicopter?
Me: No, he doesn't know how to fly a helicopter
Mia: I bet Pigeon does
Mia: But we'll have to ask him if he will
There's a huge seagull shit on Mia's bedroom window...
Mia: Look at that bird poo mummy!
Me: I know
Mia: It's MASSIVE!
Me: I know... eurgh
Mia: Grandma will have to clean it
Me: *laughs* Brilliant
Mia: Yeah, because Grandma's a clever one *nods wisely*
The Life Aquatic
Mia: Mummy, when I'm a grown up will we still live in this house?
Me: Probably not, no.
Mia: Why not?
Me: Hopefully we'll live in a bigger house by then. And you may have your own house!
Me: When you're a grown up, you'll probably have your own house... in Brighton perhaps... or it could be anywhere... wherever you want to live!
Mia: Maybe near Hove Kitchen?
Me: ...Yeah, maybe
Mia: And you and daddy can have a house right next to mine.
Mia: Like a granny annex... lovely
Mia: And you can come and knock on my door and I will let you in and I will show you ALL THE ROOMS!
Me: Will you make us dinner?
Mia: Yes, and I'll make you pudding
Mia: My house is gonna be really big I think
Mia: Massive actually
Me: And where are you going to work when you're a grown up that will pay you all this money for a big house?
Me: The Sealife Centre
Conversation over dinner...
Mia: Do you know what the afterlion is mummy?
Me: The what?
Mia: The afterlion
Me: ...do you mean the afterlife?
Mia: No, the afterlion. What is it?
Me: Well, the afterlife is.... some people believe that when you die you have another, different kind of life afterwards.... it's very complicated really
Mia: Like when you fall over and hurt yourself?
Me: No, after you've died..... and you're not here anymore. Another life somewhere else... oh, it's very difficult to explain darling
Mia: I think daddy can explain it better cos you're not very good at explaining things are you..... *looks away and continues eating*
We are making a picture of Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf and Mia has finished colouring in a yellow sun...
Mia: Mummy, what else is going to be yellow on the picture?
Me: Erm, I don't know. Probably nothing
Mia: Yes, there is. Grapeseed oil
Me: ...Grapeseed oil
Mia: *starts drawing yellow grass at the bottom of the picture*
Me: Ah, I think you mean oilseed rape
Mia: No, grapeseed oil.
Me: The tall yellow plants that look like yellow grass are called rapeseed or oilseed rape
Mia: No they're not. It's grapeseed oil
Me: It's 'rapeseed' with an 'r' darling
Mia: (whilst drawing the yellow 'grapeseed oil') You don't know. It's grapeseed oil. GRAPESEED oil. GRAPE. GRAPE.
Me: OK..... where did you learn about grapeseed oil anyway?
Mia: Daddy. I asked him what the yellow field was and he said grapeseed oil..... I think.....
Breakfast done, Mia sat in armchair wearing vest and pants that she's slept in.
Me: Right Mia, it's time to get dressed now
Mia: I don't want to get dressed
Me: Well, we need to get dressed so we can go out and do things today
Mia: I don't waaaant tooooooo
Me: Come on lets get some fresh pants on and find a dress
Mia: I want to wear these pants
Me: You need to put fresh underwear on every day
Me: Because it's good to put on clean pants every morning
Me: Because that's what people do - wear clean pants every day
Me: Because if you don't you'll get a smelly bum
Mia: Like daddy? *jumps off chair and runs to bedroom*